You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
