who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
