I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
