so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize