I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
