my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
