My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
