I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
