It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
