if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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