meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
