I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
