Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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