you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
