So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
