so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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