I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
