Fine. I'll sleep in my office
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
