ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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