Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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