so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
