and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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