Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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