You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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