No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
