Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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