i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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