oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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