You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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