Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
