god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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