she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No...this little piggys going to the bar
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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