Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
