ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
