lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Randomize
