the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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