I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
