careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
