Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
