is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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