I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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