glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
