i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm at about main and main street
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
