Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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