How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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