Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
