I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
