did you get engaged???
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
