I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
