porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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