Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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