Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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