Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize