If i come over, it means nothing
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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