you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
