Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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