How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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