So drunk, too bad you don't want this
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
