everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize